First Time Ever - Part V
By Leonard Ojwang , College Station, TX, June 24, 2009

Teresa turned her head and looked up. Heaven was now invisible. She wondered if she died during the storm, would she go to heaven wet or dry. Immediately, lightening cut sharply through the air, followed by a deafening heartbreaking rumbling noise. It scared her to hell.

Terrified, she raised herself cautiously and sat on the rail, one leg was on the walkway while the hang loosely above the water. The atmosphere was quiet without any sound of people around.

She felt safe sitting like that, and for a moment, she thought that her strategy was working out with God’s assistance. She was holding the rail with both hands, her teeth closed tight and her muscles twitched like breaking sticks. She slid her right hand so that she was holding one of the vertical gliders, and her right leg left the ground. With the increasing intensity of the storm, her heart pounded harder. 

She leaned her body towards the river, staying in that position as still and as calm as death. The shampoo mixed with the acidic rainwater, filling her ears and was entering her eyes. It caused an irritating feeling and she released her right grip from reflex to rub her eyes.

In the process, she slipped. Her nerves jerked but she quickly took hold of her grip again. Her heart pounded murderously from shock, with blood flooding her face in fear. It was well enough to knock the breath out of her body. And it did.

She could not open her eyes now; the bittersweet itching she was feeling in her eyes couldn’t allow her. In that way, she felt a kind of darkness blanketing her body with all sort of misfortunes. The heavy rains were hitting her with acute pain, and pain is what she least wanted.

“Take it easy,” she convinced herself, “this is the path.” She spoke through her teeth. 

Pools of cold rainwater were streaming down her whole body now. It was slowly enervating her. She tried several times to blink her eyes in order to clean them up. But they didn’t. With little strength remaining, she tried to heave her weight aft. She paused between trials, until she managed to sit on the rail again.

“For God’s sake … it’s my funeral,” she said coyly, “and God, I want to know if it was meant to be like this … and if it was, then accept me as I am … I have no plea.” 

Then Teresa leaned forward so that her face was hanging downwards towards the river. She lifted her other leg so that she was now sitting facing the fast swelling floodwater. Within her, she began to protest with her feelings but no abstract thought crossed her mind. The cold rain had given her muscles little confidence.

Her nerves twitched from fever and fret. Teresa, stepping on one foot after the other, managed to remove her shoes off and let them fall blindly into the fast flowing river below. The forlorn whistling sound of the wind came to her ears in a rather more detached tone. Furthermore, it didn’t matter if the wind could soothe her or not. 

It was superb how she snappily turned round and slipped below, hanging with her hands tightly on the iron rail. She was like a pendulum, her eyes still closed and both of her legs hanging loosely. She would stay like that until her strength waned and her nerves over worked. Then she would let go. Right into the river of death! “Yeah almighty God, here I am….open for me paradise,” she said regretfully, “I am on my way, coming.” 

The final part to be continued next week

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